Ok, many people have asked me why I try to spend the whole week without reading. There’s no specific answer. I read this one book and there was this suggestion that it might be good to try not to read for a week. Idea behind it all was more or less that, after a while you start to have new strange thoughts of your own. Your brains get confused and they have to do something else instead. And you never know what it will be…

When I realised how hard it sounded (I actually get angry first) I thought that maybe it was a really good advice to me. I haven’t heard that anyone have ever died because of not to read for a week, so why not to try? There are other things I can do. I can knit or I clean my home. I can write myself. I can go for a walk. I can dance more. I can meet my friends. I can make some slow food. I can paint. I can play piano (yes, I have a piano of my own nowadays!) I can go to movies. And most of all, I can just sit and look out of the window.

Monday was ok. Little bit hard, but ok. I worked a lot and then I went to my yoga-class. Yesterday was ok too. I was at work and at night, well, to be honest, I rented two movies and watched them. I also talked on phone with someone I like and it was very nice. I felt a little restless but nothing bad.

And then it happened. My brains started to work. (And here I want some cheerleaders, thank you very much.)

First I thought that watching movies is cheating a little bit. They are stories that I’m most addicted to and movies tell stories just like novels. I love movies almost as much as I love books so maybe I should give up them too, for a while.

Then I started to think why I always carry a book with me. Why I always read in buses and waiting rooms? Well, of course, I don’t want to get bored. I can use those times better than just being bored. There are so many great book in this world that I have to use every minute if I want to be able to read at least 0,01% of them.

But on the other hand… Book is also very easy way to keep the world away. Would it really be so terrible to get bored every now and then? People use different kind of things to keep the world away, for example drugs. Is reading any better than using drugs? You can say that reading is healthier but actually, to be honest reading is not very healthy. Reading keeps you away from forest where you could go for a walk or jogging. Reading keeps you away from dancing lessons or gym (well, as I told you, I sometimes go to a gym with a book, but I’m pretty sure that it would be more effective without that book…) And at least me, I like to lie in my bed when I read. It’s not very good to my back. So… reading is not really healthy at all.

Maybe reading is still better than drugs if we talk about mental health. Might be. I haven’t ever tried hard drugs but I have heard that you can actually understand many great things about life with using them. (Ok, that was a joke, but still, think about all the shamans and religious saints during history, quite many of them have actually used some drugs to widen their world and mind. Can you do the same with books? Well, I think you can, especially with poetry.)

Anyway, I started to think that maybe the way I usually read (=all the time & everywhere) is not very healthy after all. Why? Well, it kind of keeps me away from life. And I don’t mean that I’m this nerd in her own world without friends or connection to world outside. I do have a life, but I mean that if you read any old wise holy man or woman they all tell you that you should concentrate to live here and now. You should concentrate walking when you walk. You should concentrate sitting when you sit. You should concentrate breathing and just existing itself. One of my favourites Anthony De Mello (he was a Christian but I think he sounds very much like Buddhists) talks how you should observe life around you. You should observe how you feel physically and mentally. Are you tired? Are you angry? Do you feel lonely or shame? Just observe yourself and life, do not judge or decide if those feelings are good or bad. Just be there and be awake, be conscious.

I don’t do that. Well, of course every now and then. Maybe when I’m having a great conversation with someone or great sex, but most of the time I’m not living here and now. I’m just rushing through this life. I am so busy to see everything, go everywhere, know everyone and yes… read and learn everything. Maybe it’s really time for me to slow down and try to be a little more conscious about this world. Today the sun was so beautiful, so full of life. City was full of children who were having their winter-holiday and they were so alive, those children. Like Eeva wrote on one of those comments, little children who can’t read observe more about life around them because they have to. They can’t sit on a corner and read from books what it is to live. They have to actually go and live. And yes, maybe I should try the same…

All these thoughts and I have been living just two days without reading now. Hmm, we’ll see how I will be by the end of the week… Scary. And fun!